Help My Marriage Survive
If you have been wondering what can help my marriage survive this drought we are in that’s a good thing. If you are thinking, “if I don’t get help with my marriage, it’s going to end in divorce” you now have an opportunity to do something to help with resolving your marriage problems. The first step in helping to end your marriage problems is, understanding the past, the present and the future.
The reason why I say that acknowledging and understanding your marriage problems is a key first step to marriage survival is that it does two things.
First, it can give you a sense of urgency and light a fire in your soul to get your marriage back on track. Sometimes we take it for granted that our relationships will survive the good and the bad times. If you don’t take care of your marriage problems they will take care of your marriage and lead you right to divorce court.
Second, by understanding your marriage problems it will help you do more than just survive. Getting below the surface issues or as they say “peeling back the onion” will give you the right diagnosis so you can come up with the right changes to make to ensure that your marriage succeeds. Below are some tips for helping you to end the “help my marriage survive” thinking.
Help My Marriage Survive By Understanding The Past
If you or your spouse has recently experienced a traumatic life changing event such as a loss of a job, a medical problem or perhaps death of a close family member, it’s easy to assume that your marriage problems are happening because of it.
However, that’s probably not the best assumption to make and is probably wrong. If your marriage is healthy a life changing event should bring you closer together and not push you apart.
I would like to encourage you to take some time and start to remember and write down some of the things that happened in the past that added to your marriage differences now. Perhaps it was you or your spouse being more committed to work than the family. Maybe lack of respect or agreement on how to raise the children or spend the money.
If you begin to understand “what” and “why” then you will be better equipped to figure out “how” to ensure that your marriage endures, survives and thrives.
Help My Marriage Survive By Understanding The Present
If you want your marriage to survive you need to be ready to face the truth. One of the ways of facing the truth is learning how to be honest with yourself and your spouse.
If you have thoughts of ending your marriage or that if you do nothing, it’s going to end in divorce then you must deal with your thoughts, emotions and intentions.
Don’t surprise your spouse one day with divorce papers or a request for a divorce without having tried to work things out.
You both need to take a deep breath and have a heart to heart talk where you air your feelings and concerns (not complaints) about the state of your marriage.
Help My Marriage Survive By Understanding The Future
You now should have an understanding of those things in the past that have contributed to your present marital shortcomings and your current marriage survival needs.
I hope you realize that the future of your marriage, and whether it survives or not, is clearly in your hands.
The future can be bright for your marriage and your family. You don’t have to be a divorce statistic. You can work things out and have a marriage filled with peace, love, trust, respect and commitment.
My advice to you is that neither one of you bring up the dreaded “divorce” word. If you are discussing, thinking, focusing on divorcing, you will spend very little time actually trying to save your marriage.
Make sure you communicate the right way and about the right things. Remain focused and recommit yourselves to restoring and renewing your marriage. Your thoughts should be transforming from “how can I help my marriage survive” to “I’m very happily married”.
I know marriages which have rebounded from poor communication, substance abuse, infidelity, financial struggles etc. Whatever your obstacles, I hope you believe that you can overcome them and back up those thoughts with action.